Last week I stumbled across some personal history. Somehow I found myself on The Rumor Forum. Thanks to some old friends, with whom I have sadly lost all but Facebook contact (for which I take full responsibility), I became part of my very first online community. Just looking at that URL brings swirls of fun memories to the forefront on my mind. I looked up some archived threads and poked around to see how the place has changed.
Then I decided to look at my profile that linked to my first blog. It was startling proof of how permanent the world wide web is.* As I read through some of the posts I couldn’t help but think about how simple life was. The major decisions of the day that turned out to be a speck on the timeline, the joys of college, missed friends – it all made my heart shiver with happy memories and ache for days gone by. The writing itself was painful to read. It was obviously never edited** and quite stream of consciousness. (Maybe deep down I was hoping to be a much girlier, less depressing, far inferior William Faulkner.)
From there my mind spiraled into losts of thoughts of past, present and future. Sitting here thinking of the topics of my first blog, I think that I was such a baby then. It makes me feel older and wiser now. Then I think about the future me. In 10 years will I look back at the present day me and think the same thing?
I hope so. I hope that every life experience, every community I join and person I meet, every book I read, every prayer I pray will make me wiser. I hope I look back at this blog someday and think to myself, “I was so young and naive! Look how far God has brought me!” Until then, I’ll pretend I have an inkling of wisdom and know that what I mostly have is words.
*I have absolutely no intention of sharing that link with you. If you read the rest of this post before checking the foot note you understand why. If not, go back to *.
**Now I’m incredibly paranoid that I’ve left some horrible grammar mistake or typo. Feel free to edit.