Death, Debauchery and Derisory

I have been listening to country music 3 days a week for abut 3 months now. It’s not because I have a deep seeded need to connect with my deep south roots. It certainly isn’t because I enjoy the music. It’s because my wonderful husband has been the college intern on the Cat Country 98.7 morning show. I’ve been a faithful wifey, sacrificing my ears for love.

I think the worst part about the whole situation is that the songs get stuck in my head. There are two varieties of country music that play on top 40 country stations. I have two great examples that exemplify our categories.

Category 1: The life lesson/life happens, think as deeply as you can (but still in a bar) songs

  • The song: Darryl Worley’s Sounds Like Life to Me

    Let me sum up: A woman calls this guy because “Johnny Ray fell off the wagon, he’s been gone all afternoon.” He goes to track down the woman’s husband and finds him at (surprise!) the bar. Johnny Ray lays out all his problems (didn’t get much work, the baby is teething, wife is pregnant, etc.” The friend says in the chorus, “Sounds like life to me/it ain’t no fantasy/It’s just a common case of everyday reality/Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up/To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy/It sounds like life to me.

It’s short, inspirational and honest. It’s a pretty well written song. It’s not the one that gets stuck in my head.

Category 2: The let’s get drunk on a dirt road (or a beach because that’s more current and we can advertise Corona), make some derogatory remarks about women,  get married in a bar while using chewing tobacco songs.

Why, oh, why is it category 2 that sticks with me?

  • The song: Jason Aldean’s Big Green Tractor. Yes it happened. Someone else thought it would be a good idea to write a sexually charged country song about a piece of farming equipment.

    The sum up: A much too classy girl decides to date a country hick who, despite he efforts to get dolled up for a night out, offers to “take her for a ride on my big green tractor/We can go slow or we can go faster/Down through the woods and out to the pasture/As long as I’m with you it really don’t matter.” Be still my heart! How romantic!

    Oh, wait. No, no. That’s not even a little bit romantic. But if you really feel the need to see for yourself just how sweet this song thinks it is, you can read the lyrics here.

Fortunately for those of us who listen to country music morning shows for the talking… What? You mean I’m the only one? Oh. Well then. I’ll suffer in silence and fill the rest of my day with Christmas music to cleanse my ears from the songs of Category 2 (shudder).


1 Comment

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One response to “Death, Debauchery and Derisory

  1. aaron

    Then there is my favorite line from “Sounds like life to Me”. Worrley’s character finds out that “just fell off the wagon” guys wife is pregnant to which Worrley responds “hey bartender, set us up a round, we need to celebrate”.

    chew on the implications of that for a while. Pregnant wife worried about alcoholic husband falling off the wagon calls good friend to go find alcoholic husband and bring him home….good friend finds alcoholic husband and proceeds to “set em up a round” to celebrate.

    This is modern country music at it’s best I guess. An inspirational message mixed with awful morals and bad advice.

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