I am a fair-weather journaler. I get new journals periodically. I think it’s because it’s a really great gift that says, “I think you have deep thoughts that need to be journaled and eventually turned into a best-selling book that later becomes a featured film at an authentic indie film festival.” Who knew one small gift could hold such a compliment? Apparently that’s how multiple people think of me because I received 2 awesome journals for my birthday.
I don’t really think that’s what my friends were thinking when they bought me a journal, but I’m so glad they gave them to me. There’s a great blog I read called Stuff Christians Like. (It’s a hilarious, sarcastic blog about Christian culture. You should read it.) The writer, Jon Acuff, tweeted a great thought the other day, “The lie is that you’ll run out of ideas if you write all the time, the truth is you will if you don’t.”
I’ve always loved writing, but I tend to put it off. That’s part of the reason I am blogging again. I think the reason I start to avoid writing is partly laziness and partly self-esteem issues that stem from pride issues. I start thinking that I’m writing stuff people should be reading. That thought process turns into a spiritual pride that says my thoughts are 100% right and 200% insightful. Then I find myself acknowledging the pride and making a complete turn around. I start convincing myself that I’m not that talented and people don’t need to read what I write. I think that my insights are shallow. Maybe my thoughts are completely off-base.
There’s a happy medium in there somewhere. Sometimes I have great thoughts inspired by time spent with God. Other times I don’t have any thoughts at all. I was reading 1 Corinthians this morning and it says, “Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness’; and again, ‘The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.'” I long to become wise. My writings are just expressions of my journey to seek out God’s wisdom. Hopefully somewhere in my online journaling or the strokes of pen on paper I will catch a glimpse of God’s mercy and He’ll show me a little wisdom. Maybe then I can share it. But remember, if you catch anything wise from what I write, it wasn’t straight from me.